Autumn Hate

*It has been quite a while since i updated this blog.
This is stuff i've written over some time.*

A nervous glance in the mirror
Light, gaze beyond soft eyes
But light cannot shine through
The mask of sanity upon
My face which frightens
Me and the consciousness
Which pours from my mind
Like a river of knives

Such a self-indulgent stream
Feeds itself, returns to the source
Now an ocean of fear, lust, and warm blood
And fear which is mine
And yours, and everywhere
Begging never, then never again
Then no more

It grows in unison
With screams, cries, and a clawed face
I watch the puddles gather crimson rain
And fear again for myself

Look away
Eyes turn black
It's raining now
It's angry now, clawing its way out
My mind of knives and disoriented meaning
Clings to the frightful similarities, wondering
Of what am I capable?
And then I shove the sun onto the light
The silence comes
My freedom comes from inside
I answer
And I reach out
For the Surface.

And through this, comforts beckons me
Half of me smiles back with hope.
While the other, with bloodlust, whistles innocently
And laughs sardonically
With our mouth.
And we cannot,
Even as I try,
Reach out
For the Surface.